Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
