Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
