i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
