The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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