you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
