Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
