So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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