my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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