The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
