I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
