Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
