He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
