I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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