I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
honey bunches of taint.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
