oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize