yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
