Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Let's get the cat blown out
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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