So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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