There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
