Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
