I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
