i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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