I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
