how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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