"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
it glows. i had to have it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
