why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
