can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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