I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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