Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
