is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
