His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We need to get me chipped asap
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
