I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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