this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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