Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
