For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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