i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
