I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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