Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
