yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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