I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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