Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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