Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
