I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
