Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
