Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I am mentally ready for anal.
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