Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish my penis had an off switch
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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