I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
