Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
