Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if only i could text you this smell
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
