is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
