Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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