this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
