and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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