It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
