It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
