my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
