No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
