You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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