i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just high enough for therapy.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
