Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
