Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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