I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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