He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
