Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
