so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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