Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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