Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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