Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
