You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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