Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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