did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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